Reading habits and Wuthering Heights

As a teenager, I used to be an avid reader. My dad, myself and my brother always had our noses in one fiction book or the other. I remember being scolded by my mother when I tried to continue reading my story book at meal times. We used to make fun of my mother for not being able to finish any book that she took up. In fact, she would say that she found it hard to get beyond the first few pages, and I always wondered how she could let go of a book she started.

Fast forward about 15 years, and I found my reading habits to have become what my mother's had been. Thanks to being a young working mother, I found that I had no stamina left for reading books (for myself) and finishing them. Of course, I read loads of kiddie books to my kids. The desire to read for myself was there, but not the will power or the stamina. Occasionally, I would get tempted to pick up a book for myself from the library, but most of them were returned unfinished. Over the next 10 years or so, my reading primarily constituted first reading to Rani and then to Pari. I just did not have enough motivation to revive my own old reading habit.

In the meantime, Rani has become an avid reader herself. Her favorite genre is fantasy books. She literally devours books by the dozen these days, particularly during holidays. She reminds me of myself at her age, when I couldn't let go of a book that I'd started.

On the other hand, Pari cannot be convinced to read by herself. It's not that she can't read, she just does not want to. She'd rather draw or cut or glue something, or dress up in funny ways, or dance or jump. She just does not want to read. Amazing how two sisters who came from the same genetic material have such amazingly different tendencies.

Anyway, back to my own reading habit. In the last year or so, I've started getting a little of my me-time back, thanks to the girls becoming more and more independent. As a result, I have managed to start finishing books that I take up to read, and it's great to rediscover the old habit. I'm re-reading books that I had loved in my earlier years, as also trying to read new books. Of the new (i.e. new to me) books that I read recently, two that I loved:

*The man who knew infinity: A Life of the Genius Ramanujan (by Robert Kanigel)- a biography of Ramanujan
*The Silent Raga (by Ameen Merchant)

Authors that I try to re-read include Arthur Hailey, Ayn Rand, Daphne Du Maurier, Desmond Bagley, Irving Stone, Jane Austen, etc. One author whose books I had liked, but I have not been able to lay my hands on those books again, is Lloyd C. Douglas. I would love to read "The Robe" and "Magnificent Obsession" again....

However, there are some books I had difficulty getting through in my younger years, and I am not able to sustain my interest in them even now. Wuthering Heights is one such. I've seen many people praise this book, but somehow I'm just not able to get through this book myself... Somehow, I'm not able to empathize or connect with the characters in the book at all. Perhaps I'll try reading it again after a few years.

Nevertheless, I'm happy that I'm back to being an active reader, and I hope to stay that way!

Trip to Munnar and Thekkady

During these Pooja holidays, we made a 6-day trip to Munnar and Thekkady. This is to record the places we visited and the things we did, as these days I find that I tend to forget the details of a trip within a few months!

Overall itinerary-
28 Sep night - Left Bangalore by train (Coimbatore Express)
29 Sep morning - Reached Coimbatore early morning. Drove (hired vehicle+driver) to Munnar. Reached Munnar early evening after a leisurely and scenic drive with several stops.
30 Sep - Drove to Mattupetty, Top Station, Eravikulam National park
1 Oct - Drove to Kolukkumalai tea factory, P waterfall
2 Oct - Drove from Munnar to Thekkady, seeing some sights on the way
3 Oct - early morning boat ride in Periyar wildlife reserve
4 Oct - Drove back to Coimbatore; caught train back to Bangalore

Munnar

The drive from Coimbatore to Munnar was very enjoyable. We stopped at a nice waterfall point on the way. Another highlight was to see the Sandalwood forest, which is all fenced in by the government (for obvious reasons!). It was interesting to smell the wood of a broken stump just outside the fenced-off area.

Munnar was breathtakingly green and beautiful. One felt like one was travelling through a picture postcard all the time. The lush green tea plantations that look like carpets lain over the mountains have to be seen to be believed. Added to that were the numerous waterfalls at a multitude of places since it was just after the monsoons.


We stayed at the Westwood hotel. It's quite a nice place, and has a river flowing behind it. We were also lucky to get rooms that looked onto this serene view.

First day, when we drove to Mattupetty, we went boating in a speed boat which was a more adventurous experience than the usual paddle or row boat. We then drove up to the Top Station. The Top Station which is at the border of Kerala and Tamil Nadu is a very scenic point, with a view of the mountains all around. The last part of the road reaching to it is quite bad. But the trek to the point was exhilarating and in fact, the kids ended up doing some extra trekking by taking a roundabout path back from the point.

We thought we were exhausted after that and a late lunch, but on the kids' insistence (since they were eager to see the much touted mountain goats - the Nilgiri Tahr), we then went to the Eravikulam National park. Here, one has to take one of the park buses to go up the mountain. The bus drops you at a point beyond which you can walk up the mountain and take a close look at the mountain goats that inhabit that area. All in all, a nice experience, what with the scenic green views all around, the waterfalls along the mountains, the clouds at the higher levels of the mountain, and of course, the peaceful mountain goats!

The next day, on the suggestion of our driver (who had good knowledge of the various places in the locality), we booked an all-wheel drive that takes you up a mountain that is the second highest peak in Tamil Nadu, where a private tea factory is located. After a stop at a waterfall, where we could dip our feet, we switched over to the all-wheel drive jeep. The drive in the jeep is very interesting and adventurous- after a while, you leave the tarred road behind and bump along on a road which has rocks all along. The kids had a very interesting ride at the back of the jeep! Pari commented that we would probably be broken to pieces by the time we reached back!! Once we reached the tea factory, we were served milk tea, and then escorted by a guide through the tea factory and walked through the entire process of tea production - from green leaves to the final product - a very educational experience. I was amazed at the relatively primitive nature of the equipment used in the factory in today's technologically advanced age. But in a way, it felt good to see things being done in a simple and straightforward way, rather than through a multitude of gadgets and gizmos. We learnt that by locating the tea factory at such a high altitude, no air conditioning is needed for the cooling processes. After the tour, we were served lemon tea, and of course could not resist buying some of the tea packets ourselves. And then, it was bumpity-bump in the jeep, back up to the point where we had left our vehicle. This sojourn was probably the highlight of our entire trip.

After another late lunch and a bit of rest at the hotel, we decided to try and visit one of the major waterfall sites that we had missed going to. We chose to go to the bottom of the waterfall rather than to the top viewing point, since the kids are always keen on dipping feet (and rest of their bodies, if permitted!) in the water. There was a major traffic jam at this place, and unfortunately, the water also was not too accessible. Nevertheless, it was a nice point. When coming back, we trekked up the mountain for a short distance, and this was a fun experience. Rani had been keen on doing some trekking and this gave her the satisfaction of at least having done some trekking. We also stopped off at a garden built next to a hydroelectric station, and again did a fairly long walk through the garden. The garden looked like it had seen better days, but was not being maintained well any more.

On the way back, we did a bit of shopping. Homemade chocolates and marshmallows are advertised at a number of points in Munnar. And, me and the girls were keen on getting the marshmallows. But the shop we tried at had run out of them. My mother got us a nice elephant (to add to our Golu collection), and the kids got some keychains as they are collecting them.

Thekkady

The next day we set off for Thekkady. On the way, we got to see tons of cinnamon plants (something we had also sampled on the way to the Kolukkumalai factory the previous day, but now we saw them in large numbers). We got to eat our first authentic Kerala lunch on the way, with warm pink water and the boiled rice with big grains. We reached Thekkady in the late afternoon, and could now feel the temperature difference between Munnar which is located at a much higher altitude and Thekkady.

At Thekkady, we stayed at the Hotel Tree Top. It was a really nice hotel. We had 2 cottages side by side. For the kids, the highlight was the games room which was also a big hall with a stage, so they could do mock dance shows, in addition to playing ping-pong and carrom. We reached the hotel late afternoon, and spent the rest of the day just relaxing - something we had hardly had time to do in Munnar.

Early morning (at 6am!) the next day we headed out to the boat ramp to try and get tickets to the early morning boat ride that starts at 7am. The crowd at that time was amazing. There was a long serpentine line to get tickets (the ticket counter hadn't opened yet). There were separate lines for men and women, and both H and I stood in the respective lines, since we didn't know how the lines were going to move (although the women's line was definitely shorter). After a long wait, we managed to get tickets on one of the last boats heading out at 7am.

This boat ride is reputed to be the prime highlight of visiting Thekkady and viewing the animals in the Periyar Wild Reserve. In some ways, it really was a beautiful ride, as the water winds through the forests, and in the early morning, everything looked calm and serene. However, the ride was an anticlimax with respect to spotting some interesting animals. The main thing we saw were birds. There was a fleeting glimpse of an otter and a sambhar, and the only other animals we saw were wild pigs. The ride started feeling long after a while, with nothing to do, and not much to spot. The children (and adults) were quite bored by the end of it.

After coming back from the boat ride, we again spent time relaxing at the hotel. THe children played in the games room, we napped or watched TV. I think the hectic sightseeing at Munnar had tired us all out, and we were all happy to just take it easy.

The next day, we had another early morning start, to drive all the way back to Coimbatore. The drive was uneventful. SInce we reached Coimbatore a little early, we made a visit to the local zoo, before we caught the train back to Bangalore. The highlight of the zoo visit was a peacock who had his full set of feathers opened out, and was almost dancing to attract a female who was showing no interest in him!
The peacock looked so beautiful... - it was a fitting end to a wonderful trip.

Encounters with truths of the unflattering kind

Two recent incidents forced me to confront two sensitive truths about myself....

Encounter 1:
As my tailor was measuring me, I asked him to make sure that he keeps sufficient margin in his stitching, especially near the sleeves, implying that the clothes should fit even if I put on a little weight.

The tailor reassured me with : "Madam, your measurements are not big at all, you just look fat..."

Despite myself, I had to laugh - what else could I do? I mean, is it better to be fat with big measurements, or to look fat even if your measurements don't reflect it?!!

(Of course, it probably means he's going to stitch me ill-fitting, tight clothes yet again, which is even more depressing)


Encounter 2:
I have been driving to a class on Sunday mornings, and for these drives, have settled on a radio channel that amazingly played all my favorite songs at this particular time on Sunday mornings. One of the best things is that there are hardly any announcements or talking between songs, presumably because most of the channel's regular audience is probably not awake at that time on Sunday mornings.

Well, the other day, I happened to be listening to the same radio channel at a different time. And up comes an announcement saying - "On Sunday mornings from 8am - 12pm, don't forget to listen to our Retro songs program " !!

My favorite songs are now "Retro"?!!

Age and fat have piled up unbeckoned and largely unnoticed (which is probably a good thing in itself!)....:-)

Rani's poem - "My Life"

A few days back, Rani's teacher asked for volunteers who could contribute some writing or art for their school newsletter. She gave them one class period to do it in. And Rani, relying on her 11 years of accumulated wisdom, came up with this incredible poem....

My Life

I sit here thinking all alone
Feeling a little melancholy
I sit there staring at a stone
Feeling a little lonely

And as I look around, so sad
I feel the world seems evil
But then my eye falls upon a crab
I stare at it until....

My stillness encourages a butterfly
To alight upon my hand
I'm startled from my reverie
And suddenly I hear a band

Consisting of bees and birds and things
A rich rejoicing because we're alive
And I realize that I want to sing
Because I am happy with my life!

Perhaps it's my motherly bias :-), but I still find it hard to believe that she wrote such a wonderful piece, and that too in such an impromptu manner!

"How did you come up with the thought and the structure?" I asked her. "I don't know, Mom, I just wrote it", she said shrugging her shoulders, with the nonchalance of an 11-year old.

Well, I am still amazed and so very proud of her...

....and of course, it did get published in the newsletter!

Parenting - an acquired skill?

In today's world, there is an entrance test or an interview that needs to be passed for most anything - from a toddler wanting to get into kindergarten...to a XII standard student looking for admission into tuition classes (yes, even those have entrance exams now!) ....to, of course, adults looking for jobs.

But, ironically, one adult job which does not require any such test, also happens to be one of the most important jobs that many of us do- Parenting.

Why doesn't nature require some mental/emotional readiness for becoming a parent, just like she demands physical readiness?

Parenting, it seems to me, is becoming quite a specialized skill, at least in certain societies. I may be mistaken, but it seems to me that in earlier generations, parents did not have to be as conscious of their parenting skills as we do today, and sort-of raised children as a matter of course. However, today, there's so much analysis out there on what parents should do and not do with their children, that we tend to question ourselves frequently on the stance we take with our children on various things, how we interact with them, what we expose them to, etc. And, it is really difficult to measure how well we are doing, given that each child is a human being in their own right. Using the child's "success" or "failure" in life (assuming we can decide on how we measure that!) as a yardstick for deciding how well the parents did, doesn't seem like the right thing, since there are so many other factors that go into a child's development.

Like most skills, some folks are certainly more adept at parenting than others. In the film "Ijaazat", when Rekha starts managing Naseeruddin Shah's household from day one after their marriage, he makes a comment to the effect - "tum to ekdum professional housewife ho"! ("you are a professional housewife"!!). In my view, in a similar way, some folks are "professional parents". From day one, they are conscious of what they need to do as parents and do all things right for their child - food, clothes, school, habits, extra-curricular activities, etc.

However, the rest of us who are more like "amateur parents", who lack that in-built skill or training, try and learn on the job, with an evolving trial-and-error process. That's when one wishes that someone had made us take a 3-year course on parenting and made us pass an exam on the do's and dont's, before we took on the job.

On the other hand, the thought of special training in parenting sounds so ridiculous, when you think of the whole animal kingdom taking parenting in its stride, and following its natural instincts in raising its young!! Why has human parenting become much more of an acquired skill, rather than a natural instinct?!!

Edited to add: Shruthi's Law of Parenting in Shruthi's blog aptly expresses my thoughts too. I'd imagined that parenting would get easier as your babies got older, but it doesn't..... - it continues to evolve and change in degrees and you continue growing with your children, but I don't think it gets easier.

Rani's school excursion

Today, my 11-year-old daughter, nicknamed Rani for this blog, is off on a two-day excursion organized by her school. This is the first time she is out on an overnight trip that is not with the family (us!).

Since last year, I have wanted her to go on a trip like this, as it's a wonderful experience at her age, to go travelling with your friends. In addition to the fun you have, it gives you a healthy sense of independence and the confidence that you can take care of yourself even when your parents are not around. Since I had experienced it myself by going on a summer school trip for 2 weeks when I was the same age, I wanted her to have a similar experience (although hers is a much shorter trip!).

So, when her school informed us about this planned excursion last month, I was as excited as her! I wondered at the fact that I didn't feel too worried about her going off like this for the first time. Perhaps, when it came closer to the trip I may start feeling more worried, I thought.... But no, right up to the time that she left this morning, the feeling of anticipation and excitement that I was feeling on her behalf didn't reduce, and no kind of worry or anxiety crept in. I do hope these positive feelings are justified, and that she comes back having enjoyed the trip and looking forward to more such excursions. If so, I would definitely like to send her on some of the private camping and trekking tours that get organized these days for children of her age.

The one thing that I am concerned about, is her ability to take care of her things properly, especially the camera that we have sent with her. We gave her so many warnings and instructions about taking good care of the camera, that when she was being dropped by her dad, she asked him - "What's the first question you are going to ask me when I return - how am I or how's the camera?!!"

Well, let's see how it goes. She is due back tomorrow evening. Meanwhile, her younger sister, Pari, got invited to her aunt's house today, so we've gotten a rare quiet day to ourselves!!

All Barbied and Poohed out...

Last week, I set off with great enthusiasm to find a toy for my 2 year old niece, who's visiting from the U.S. I'd thought to buy her something age-appropriate, something that she could amuse herself with, but also something that would help her take back some "Indian culture" and/or something that her parents wouldn't be able to easily get for her in the States.

So, I land up at a swanky new store which carries books, toys, gifts, dvd's, etc. The store is wonderful to walk and browse through, with lots of interesting gifts items, and I wasted some time looking through the adults gifts section, just because it was fun to look at the various items they had. But when I entered the childrens' toys section, the only brands that I could see were Barbie (in abundance), Fisher-Price, Disney, etc. There was hardly anything there, that would not be available in a U.S. department store or toy shop. It seemed a waste, to pay a not-insignificant-sum of money to buy a toy here, when these same toys would also be available at a neighborhood toy store in the U.S.. So, after spending a good part of an hour browsing through many versions of Barbies, Poohs, Disney Princesses and the like, I finally decided not to buy any.

While it's nice that we have all these imported toys available in India now (for the folks that can afford them), wouldn't it be nice, I thought, if we also manufactured and marketed similar, high-quality toys that used Indian characters and figures as their basis. So, I tried to think of Indian figures that could be used for similar types of toys, and the ones I could think of, were in the following categories

1. Gods or figures from mythology
2. Historical kings/queens and heroes/heroines
3. Freedom fighters, political leaders
4. Music/cultural artistes
5. Bollywood/Film stars

Thus, I started seeing at least one difficulty of having such toys (although I doubt that toy manufacturers have gone through the lengths of thinking through this :-)). With all of the religious and regional sensitivity that is currently prevalent, most toys in the above categories would incite ire from one community or another, either because a toy "hurt their sensibilities" or because their community was not suitably represented by a toy, especially if a similar other community was. So, maybe it's just as well that we choose between a Pooh or a Cinderella, rather than between Akbar or Ashoka... And as for category # 5, I'd rather not see any more of the film industry than what we already get inundated with.

Incidentally, I also browsed through books, and there definitely are many books available, on Indian mythology and by Indian authors, for older children, but not too much of a selection in the 2-year old category. However, some of the Indian publishers have brought out nice picture books on fruits, vegetables, animals, etc. Again, I wish they would have had names in Indian languages for the pictures. I did find two such books (on fruits and flowers) with nice bright pictures, and with English and Indian names, which I immediately lapped up!

Finally, at our local 8ftX8ft age-old, small toy store, which is packed with toys from top to bottom and left to right, I did find Ganesha and Hanuman as stuffed toys(I suspect that these were made primarily because of the respective movies). And since, in this case, I didn't need to worry about secular sensitivities, the baby got a stuffed Ganesha - rather nicely made and adorned with jewelry (although that makes it a little less kid-friendly). Of course, it was immediately upstaged by another gift that the baby got - a musical jumping and squawking cross between a rooster and a duck! Now, if only the stuffed Ganesha had been enabled to dance and sing... :-)

If I can something helpful say....

If I can do some good today,
If I can serve along life's way,
If I can something helpful say,
May this blog do its bit, pray...